January Hell

Salut my friends and family!

It is a testament to how insanely busy my January has been that I have not written twice this month. I've tried to write twice a month for the duration of my time in London, and this month I finally failed.

Perhaps I'll do a meme after this, just to make myself better by seeing (2) next to January! Or perhaps I'll split this post into two posts, depending on what I write about. We shall see. Or perhaps I'll just leave it at (1) so that I will always remember the insanity of this month.

We'll let's see. The last time I wrote was before New Years Eve - I spent NYE in my standard fashion - at home on my own! I completely bailed on the plans that I had, as I was just not keen that day on using public transit! I fail, I know, but to be fair, I had an enjoyable evening watching Mr. Bean and chatting with people back in Canada land, and I did indeed stay up until midnight.

My January since then has consisted of teaching and overworking myself. I've barely seen my friends, and I have both cancelled plans and bailed out early on the ones I've attended. Even when Siggy came to visit me from Bristol, the majority of my conversation was stressing out about work as it was all I could really think about. Fortunately Siggy didn't mind, as I DID spent 7 HOURS STRAIGHT in the Imperial War Museum with him. This is quite the feat for me, and I'm rather proud of that accomplishment! I didn't even complain! It was actually a better museum than I thought it would be, it's really well done. Just not my flavour of history.

The year 5 class I spent January teaching are wonderful children. The other teachers in the school are all quite friendly. I was having a hard time with the school since I'm both new to teaching and new to the country, and in three weeks I had 1 prep period. I was barely able to keep up even though I was working through my breaks and lunch breaks, staying at the school until after 5 and often after 5:30, and still working when I was at home.

I'm no longer at that school, and I'm glad of it. There were offers of support, and the year 6 teacher was quite helpful and I'll miss her, but even though support was offered and I said yes I could use help, I never actually got any. I think the school wanted someone with more experience, even though my experience level has always been open. I just don't know if they realized that when saying that were willing to help a teacher get QTS, that it meant a very brand new teacher and I think stuff got confused. Who knows.

I won't really go into details on this blog, as it's public. All I will say, is that I wanted out. So I've spent the last week back to supplying and have had multiple comments on how I seem a lot happier. Cause I am. My stress level is going back down and I've actually got energy again. When I've smiled and laughed this week - they've been real smiles and laughs. I've actually enjoyed the conversations I've had. When I take some time to relax, I don't feel guilty or stressed out because of x,y,z needing to be done. It's great.

The worst part about the whole experience is that it's making me question if I am willing to put up with the education system in this country. I hate that the job made me feel like I owe Ontario's Curriculum a huge apology! I'm not sure how much of it was the way that particular school was, or how much of it is really country-wide. I'm thinking it's a combination.

The education system here seems about ass-backwards or at least a few decades behind Ontario's curriculum. From what I've gathered from this country, their idea of "differentiated learning" is to segregate the students within the classroom, where the 'smart' students are at one table doing activity A, the average lot are doing activity B, and the 'low' group are doing activity C. The students are expected to all progress at the same rate - which means that there is zero scaffolding being done to help bring the lower group closer to the average. It is basically what I've been taught in Ontario is completely wrong.

In Ontario, I'm used to where all the students are doing the same activity - you just provide extra challenge for the higher students when they're finished, and find accommodations for the lower students to help them achieve the same end goal. It's common practice in Ontario to have mixed ability tables, so that the students can actually learn from each other. Here in England... the students are always arranged in ability tables, so the lower ability students cannot usually turn to each other for assistance. There's no student-teaching going on at all in English classrooms, or at least a very minimal amount.

I've also found that homework is given out for homework's sake. This is COMPLETELY frowned upon and discouraged in Ontario - if you give students homework in Ontario you really have to justify it. Usually it's something that the student didn't complete in class (and you have to justify why they didn't finish in class and why you know they can understand it and finish it at home) or is something that the student will NOT need assistance with. Which means homework is sent home rarely in Ontario.

Also, every school here seems to work on some sort of sticker-reward chart. The students want a sticker for EVERYTHING that they do. it's a little sad. I like stickers and all, but it sometimes feels like it's getting ridiculous here!

Ah well.

I hope that the next time I take on a long-term (I definitely need a break from it for now) that I'll be in a more supportive school, and not a single-form school where I'm the only teacher for the grade.

It's just getting really frustrating how everything here is centered on how it looks on paper.... being able to tick off that a classroom has/uses 1,2,3,4,5.... instead of actual student learning or really looking at if what's in the room is actually being used to an advantage. It just needs to be there, to be seen. As long as it looks good on the paper or in a photograph, then it's a-ok in this country.

I hope I'm wrong about it.