Well now, it's the end of May already.
I'm not really sure where the time has been going, to be honest with you.
This month has been full of: unwanted drama, a trip to Brighton, ICT teaching two days a week, a visitor from Finland, a trip to watch Chicago, pretending that it's summer, various nights out to pubs, the booking of a trip to Canada, and as of today, the beginnings of a trip to Scotland!
So I suppose that is quite a lot. And that's not even counting the various things I've planned and cancelled.
I'll start with the teaching bit: until the end of the year I'm teaching ICT on Thursdays and Fridays. I'm oddly enough enjoying myself, even though it feels like SO LITTLE gets done in the ICT suite. But, I have each class between 40-60 minutes so that's not really much time when that includes getting things set up and tidied up. I'm learning a lot of names there, seeing as I teach the ENTIRE school minus Reception, I'm doing quite well. I know all of the year 5 class that I have Friday afternoons, and handfuls from each class.
Went to Brighton for the second time with my Canadian/teaching friends. I quite enjoy it in Brighton, although it IS rather overhyped. But I like water so I'm happy enough.
I went and saw Chicago with Sarah, an Aussie that I met while supply-teaching the year 3 class back in October that I really enjoyed. It was great, I was highly impressed with the MINIMAL usage of props - the most elaborate prop was a chair. It was basic in that way, that the production relies entirely on the cast. Which personally, I loved. Any more props would have detracted from the performance, imho.
I did decide to go back to Ontario for August. Little sad about the fact that most everyone in Toronto will be unable to see me for different reasons. But I'll have lots of time with my nieces, which is what ultimately convinced me to go for a visit. It's very strange for me to really miss anyone as much as I miss them.
Although, talking about missing people - I miss a lot of people. I miss my Toronto friends, I miss my really old friends who are all over the place. I miss some of the people that are not in my life anymore for various reasons. I miss my London friends that I haven't seen in months, and know that the only reason why I haven't seen them is myself. I feel really isolated, even though I'm not - I'm frequently out doing things with people. So I really just don't know what it is I'm wanting or feel like I'm missing. I'm afraid that it's just my need to leave feeling setting in. I wonder if I'll ever be rid of it?
Speaking of leaving - I'm off to Scotland today! Canadian Sarah and I are going up to Edinburgh tonight on the night bus. We will spend tomorrow (Monday) in Edinburgh and then we will leave on Tuesday morning for a 6-day tour. http://www.wild-in-scotland.com/6-Day-Hebridean-Explorer-01-0005.php That link should show you the tour we are taking. We're doing a tour as it's easiest - at least for me, everywhere I want to go is always rather isolated (perhaps THAT is why I'm always feeling isolated?! haha) and thus hard to get to without having a car. I'm quite excited for it, we've had it planned out since February when we were in Prague.
Which means next time I post here - it will be a Scotland update :)
You know, I totally get this. In a way, we can be our own worst enemy, can't we? And it all makes sense in our heads, but we can't explain it to other people. Also, to paraphrase something Cordelia once said on Buffy, you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. In a big city like London, or a busy workplace, you can still feel very lonely and isolated, and away from your family and friends.
ReplyDeleteI've had that this week - felt very upset and angry at the actions of my Italian manager while we were in Geneva for a workshop this week. It put me in quite a down mood, and knowing I'd be bad company, I cried off going to a BBQ Friday night. I just wanted to escape away somewhere for the weekend - preferably home to Devon, but my tickets are for next week. I just wanted to it somewhere isolated, like a beach or hill, looking down over the scenery or water, maybe blown about a bit by the wind - the scenery matching my mood.
And I'll say I miss you - I'm sure the others do too. I was looking forward to seeing you at Jen and Claire's BBQ, but I'm guessing something happened as you weren't there. Let me know if you want to meet and do something - I get the not wanting a big group sometimes, as I know I find it hard to get a word in edgeways with the louder members of the group sometimes. I'm going to try and get out and about more, actually do things this summer. Not big or fancy necessarily, but even just going to a park with some snacks, and reading in the sunshine. Walking along the river. Going to Mudchute farm which I've been meaning to do for ages.
[hug]